One out of every two marriages in America is failing. American families are crumbling and vanishing. Most families have become dysfunctional, and it is widely becoming fashionable to come from a dysfunctional family. Divorce is on the rise all the time. Your self-esteem - what you think of yourself in relation to other people - is the basic secret of your success or failure in life. Here are some marital insights to help you survive a divorce and live the rest of your life happily. It's really as simple as that... Think well of yourself, and you'll do well. Think disparagingly of yourself, and you'll probably not do very well at all . It is natural to have a low self-esteem after going through a divorce. In fact, the blow dealt to one's self-esteem by divorce is lethal and crushing enough to drive anyone to the brink of insanity. There may be very justifiable reasons to end a marriage and get a divorce. The way I see it, it should be preferable to end a problematic Marriage than to stay and keep suffering, being abused and endangering ones life. This is common sense. It makes a great sense to end the marriage , seek a divorce and find a much better partner in life. Nobody is above making a mistake. But when you make a mistake in the choice of your life partner, be reasonable to realize it, end the marriage, find another partner and continue with your life. There are billions of human beings on earth, and one should be able to find a compatible partner to continue ones life. When a marriage ends in divorce, one should have a good attitude about it. But this not always easy for most spouses. They tend to continue to remain attached to their ex-partners. They continue to agonize over the break-up and blame each other for the failure. They are filled with anger, self-loathing, regrets, anxiety and frustration due to the failed marriage. They continue to let the memories about the failed marriage linger on. After a divorce, the correct attitude will be to consider the marriage dead and let go of all feelings regarding it and move on with oness life. It may take sometime for you to go through the necessary healing that has to take place before you are able to recognize and enjoy happiness again. Even so, the most important and the very first thing you must do following the break-up of any kind of relationship, is to get started on the rebuilding of your self-esteem. This means that you have to accept the fact that neither you or anyone else is perfect - determine that you will learn from your mistakes - and that you will become whatever it is you aspire to be. Immediately, do something that makes you feel good - something you've been wanted to do for some time - or always wanted to do. This could be getting a new hair-do, buying a new suit, enrolling in a special self-improvement course, starting a new job or business, or even taking an extended vacation. You may also relocate and move to another city. This is one way of leaving all memories of the failed marriage behind. You mustnt lock yourself in your house or apartment and keep brooding over the failed marriage. You mustnt be afraid to get out and associate with people. You mustnt stop enjoying life! You may have to force yourself, but you must "forget" about mourning your loss and continue with your life. You must go on with your life with a stronger determination than ever, to be the person you want to be. Don't "beat yourself over the head" with feelings of guilt. Get rid of your anger as quickly as possible. Forget about the past. Focus on the present and the future. Get on with the rest of your life without delay! Revitalize those ambitions that have been "hidden away" in the back of your mind, and consider this particular time in your life as an opportunity for a new start. Do some introspection relative to what it is you want out of life; reorganize your time and efforts to attain those objectives; and go for it with all you've got! The way you feel about yourself has a strong reflection on the way you feel about others. When things are not quite right, the first thing that needs to be changed is your disposition - your attitude, feelings towards other people, and your emotional responses. Think about your facial expressions and the tone of your voice when you're talking with other people. Being aware of these things with consideration towards other people, will "bring you out of your-self" and allow other people to want to know more about you. You have to forget about and let go of, the past. Anything and everything that happened yesterday is long gone and cannot be changed. You have the rest of your life from this moment on, to achieve love - happiness - fame and fortune. Whatever it is you want in life can be yours. All that's necessary to make any dream come true is a true understanding of what you want, and determination on your part to make it all happen according to your plan. Think about what you want -prepare yourself to get it focus your efforts on the fulfillment of your ambitions and there's nothing that can stop you from total realization! If youre a man, after divorce, desist from condemning all the women as devils. Just because your marriage didnt work out with one woman doesnt mean that all women are evil. If youre a woman, after your divorce, dont conclude that all men are evil. Just because your marriage didnt work out with one man doesnt mean that all men are evil. It is also not a good reason to become a lesbian! There are billions of men in the world. If it doesnt work with one man, it may work with another, so go for it. So, the first thing relative to rebuilding one's self-esteem - following a divorce, or the loss of a loved one by any circumstances - is to understand why you hurt, and what is necessary in order to be happy again. It is essential that you think of YOURSELF in terms of the kind of life you want for yourself; know that you can have it all because you've laid the foundation, done your homework, and you're on a positive road towards achievement; and then get busy "making tracks" in that direction. In simple terms - it hurts, but you're not dead - you're only wasting time thinking about or rehashing the past because there's no way anything that happened yesterday or the day before can be changed - so quickly pick up the pieces, and get on with your life! May these insights about life after divorce help you to find a new meaning in life and to move on and prosper and be happy for the rest of your life. Warmly, I-key Benney, CEO |
