As I said last time, I hate cigarettes, smoking and the medical tragedies that result. I never smoked, nor did my wife. So, why do I have three grown kids who smoke? Bad Dad: 10 Keys to Regaining Trust (get it at http://www.Bad-Dad.com/baddad_dp.htm), the chronicle of transformation from angry, self-centered fathers to calm, caring dads, demonstrates how many of us create kids with no support or acceptance at home. Why do they smoke? It's not because the cigarette is so wonderful, but because people who smoke have a common bond with other smokers automatically and without effort. As a 14-year old who can't find an entree into a new group, "bumming" or offering a cigarette creates immediate acceptance. Only those who need "immediate" acceptance will go that route. And you only need "immediate" acceptance if you don't get consistent acceptance at home. So, I'm telling on myself it's no secret. Ask my kids and they'll quickly confirm it: I was not very accepting, nurturing or, well. . .fatherly. But, if the ever increasing number of teen smokers is an indication, I'm not alone. According to the Centers for Disease Control: * Twenty-two percent of all high school students smoke (split evenly between boys and girls). * Eight percent of middle school students smoke * Of new smokers, 90 percent, or 3000 per day, are teens * And 90 percent of all adult smokers say they started as teens Are you beginning to see a vicious circle here Get 'em while they're young and keep 'em till they're dead! How do we as parents stop the cycle? To recap just one or two of the many tips highlighted in the report: * Schedule time. Build a relationship. Kids will not listen to you when you discourage the smoking habit if they don't trust you to begin with. * Know your child's friends. It's pretty easy to see who the rotten apples are. Do your best to encourage healthy relationships without threatening current friendships. * Don't smoke. We'll talk more about this in the next installment, but for goodness sake, don't tell you kid that it's bad to smoke while you sneak outside for a quick drag. If you can't stop, how do you expect them to take you seriously? |
