Are my neighbors listening to my phone sex calls? I don't suppose I will ever know the truth.

I know they could be. Living in a fairly new suburb of a fast growing city has created a perfect eavesdropping situation. The houses are only about 8 feet apart, the trees are still tiny, and the summers are hot. My windows are wide open at night, as I am sure everyone else's are in this city. It would be reassuring if there were lots of street noises at night to drown out the moans, sighs and demands (I am Mistress Cassie, afterall), however after 10 pm it is dead silent in this neighborhood. Am I the only night owl here? I doubt it.

So, lets just say my lucky neighbors have plenty of opportunity to listen to some very naughty conversations.

"Martha, you'll never guess what I heard last night!"

"Oh yeah, I hear it sometimes too... I think its someone's cat"

"No Martha, its a woman. A woman aahh, she's ahhh, well, it sounds like she is moaning!"

"Really? I am going to listen again tonight"

Maybe its not like that at all. Maybe its George out by the back fence, just listening and enjoying, not daring to move, afraid I'll catch him, or worse, his wife Martha will catch him!

Well, we can't have this kind of situation. I refuse to close the windows and melt away my summer nights. I really don't intend to patrol the fence between the backyards. I am definitely not going to ask George if he is listening to my phone sex calls. Its my business, literally, and if its of any interest to anyone else, they should be paying $2.99 per minute like the rest of you.

Have you ever wondered if anyone ever overheard one of YOUR phone sex calls? It could happen. Here is my list of preventative measures.

• Close the windows
• Turn some music on (TV works too)
• Call from the bathroom, with the shower running (not a water conscious move)
• Call for phone sex from your car - be careful of the location!
• Use the Cone of Silence
• Invite the neighbors...maybe they will split the bill with you!

Instead trying to keep people you know from listening, you could also make your phone sex calls from a safe place like a hotel room. That way if you are overheard, it will be by strangers. Some people call from the office, although that opens another whole can of worms.

Another thought is to disguise the sounds. Some callers enjoy barking like dogs, being hypnotized into zombies, performing as sissy maids with high squeaky voices. Anyone listening to these types of conversations would be entertained, but likely would not recognize it was a phone sex call they were listening too.

Its all about being comfortable, both during and after the call. Some people LOVE the idea that someone IS listening. A little exposure just adds that last little bit of danger/excitement. If this is your ball of wax, then maybe sit close to the window, and really give your best performance.

As for me, I am going to continue on as I am now, windows wide open. If you happen to be in my neighborhood some night, listen closely. You might like what you hear.