Q. I recently went to an anger-management seminar at my office. Most of it was about the theory of anger and where it comes from, without really anything much about what to do about anger. Can you just give me a quick list of things to do beside get angry?

A. Sure can. Here is a short list of what you can do instead of getting angry. This gives you choices, and choices are what you need.

• Pause and ask "is this really worth getting angry about?"

• Remember that anger is a normal human emotion. Feeling angry is not the problem, it's what we do with our anger that makes the difference.

• What you do with your anger is always a choice, which means you can gain control of it and make better choices.

• Find someone to talk it out with. What we don't talk about, we act out.

• Anger is a secondary emotion, which means we feel something else before the anger. The something else is usually frustration, hurt or fear. Deal with what you are really feeling, and you cut off or bypass the anger.

• Exercise discharging the energy that comes with anger can defuse and drain the anger right out of you.

• Count to 10. When necessary, keep counting.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com