Life, death. One is as certain as the other. And many people, in fact, prepare themselves for the latter a lot more thoroughly than for the former. Theres the life insurance which thoughtful people take out to ensure that those loved one left behind will end up more prosperous with you dead, then they ever were while you were alive. Or if youre too selfish to do that, at least youll leave enough money for your loved ones to bury you with dignity once youve kicked the bucket.

But as for life, its just supposed to happen. And if those feelings of dread that were often subjected to at odd moments of the day or night are any indication, most of us do, indeed, live our lives with quiet desperation.

And yet, according to Lynn Grabhorn, we are the creators of our own lives. Good or bad, fairy tale or just grim, the lives we have are not necessarily the lives we deserve, or want, or wish for, but none the less, are the lives that we have created for ourselves.

Working at a job you hate? Drowning in debt? Partner has just left you with a Dear John letter?

If youve been blaming conditions, people, governments, circumstances, according to Lynn youre blaming the wrong people. The person who is to blame is you.

Life is not a lottery with some people having it all and others born to suffer. Life is not a matter of incidence or coincidence. If theres anything in your life which you dont like, look no further than your feelings.

The feelings you harbour every minute of every day is what creates the kind of life you have right now. It has nothing to do with whether youre a good person or a bad person, whether youre a benevolent person or a selfish person. Its all about your feelings.

Make no mistake, good people, like you and I, who dont steal or kill, or do any of the other nasties were not supposed to do, are not necessarily happy people. The quality of our lives are not created by the faade we present to the world. Its the feelings inside.

If youve ever though to yourself, there must be more to life than this, than take a sneak look at your mental obsessions. If your main concerns are yesterdays mistakes, todays challenges, and tomorrows uncertainties, than dont look any further to find out why your life is not the happy experience it ought to be.

Vlady Peters

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant performing weddings, naming, renenewal of vows and commitment ceremonies both for Australian citizens and for overseas couples visiting friends and relatives in Australia.

She is the author of two traditionally published books, "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings" and "The Small Organisation Handbbook" and is in the process of releasing two ebooks dealing with weddings and honeymoons.

Her major interest is research into customs and traditions of weddings.

By going back to the roots of customs, she believes couples can more clearly differentiate between what is essential in a wedding ceremony, and what is merely a personal preference.

This allows them to choose a ceremony reflecting their own situation within the framework of legal requirements.

Vlady has a bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Government, and has studied the writing of novels and romances. She has written children picture books as well as novels.

She is a member of Queesland Civil Marriage Celebrants - the largest Civil Marriage Celebrants Association in Australia - as well as member of Celebrants' Training Association.

She is also a member of Australian Authors, as well as Romance Writers Association where for a number of years she was the Convenor of the prestigious Emma Darcy Award - Australia's leading Lady of Romance.